One of the local movie theaters offers dollar movies on Tuesday (and Thursday) mornings. They show little kid movies, and pre-teen movies. The little kid ones this summer, are ones we've seen a half-dozen times. The pre-teen ones are some of the classics from the 80s! I was thrilled when I saw the 80s list, and made plans to take my four every week we can make it!
Today, the movie was Ghostbusters. The kids woke-up to Ray Parker Jr singing the theme song from my iPod speakers. On repeat. About 10 times. By the time we were in the car, they had it memorized. (I plan on downloading the theme songs for the remaining movies we'll see this summer--making a soundtrack to listen to in the car when we're driving around town). Wanting to benefit from the cheaper movie prices, I let the kids know (in advance) they WOULD NOT be getting drinks and popcorn at the concession stand. Instead (yes, I cheated a little), I got out the six boxes of cereal we had all but finished, from the pantry. I sat out four ziploc bags and had the kids create "Mixes" of their favorite cereals to eat as snacks during the movie. The loved it!
Wanting to "UP" the fun quotient a little more, I came up with ten questions about the movie (and the actors/actresses). Typed them up on the computer and printed out four copies. Each of the kids took a pencil with them to the movie and answered as many questions as they could (in the dark), as the credits were rolling, and in the car on the way home. This was a CONtest (not a TEST, I explained to Tucker, who bemoaned the idea).
The movie had a lot more "swear" words than I had remembered. And lots of smoking. And sexual innuendo. So, on the way home, we had a great car conversation about rating systems for movies in the 1980s, and how there were no PG13s back then. We talked about the bad language in the movie, the smoking and the ways the adults (especially the men and women) acted around each other. THIS is what I mean by Raising Grown Ups.
Because here's the thing: I don't expect movies to teach my kids values. I don't expect celebrities to be role models. I don't really look to anyone to do the work I am supposed to do as a parent to my children. It's my job to care about them. My job to teach them about life and living and understanding our culture. It is my job to show them what is good and acceptable. It is my job to train them. It's my conversation to have. My values to impart. My life to live out in front of them. It's what I am supposed to do. It is what I LOVE DOING! I love answering their questions. Helping them use their heads. Getting them to think. Teaching them to pick things apart, make decisions, show love, take stands. THAT is what I am here for. These experiences, conversations, moments and opportunities (and what I do with them, or how I handle them) are what really contribute to who my four are (and are becoming) as people...and one-day-grown-ups.
Our conversation in the car, was my favorite part of the morning. It was during those teachable moments, I was able to connect with my maturing, impressionable, public-school-educated son and daughters. None of the language was new to them. Each of the words had been heard before...on the school bus, at a friend's house or on the basketball court. They haven't been sheltered from such things. It was great, however to have a "reminder-conversation" about where we stand as a family. And what we can say, do, or NOT say (or do), when we are in a situation when certain language is used around us, or [let's be honest] we find ourselves wanting to use it ourselves.
We stopped off at the grocery store on the way home, picked up two bags of marshmallows (in different sizes). I knew I had a little box of toothpicks and a container of icing at home. After lunch, we made our own Stay Puft Marshmallow Men (inspired by the movie) and chomped them up for dessert after our hotdogs. Total cost for the outing, around $8.50 for the movie and marshmallows.
Mom thought: When it comes to these four children, I can be counted on to set things straight, explain the world around us, point them to God, show love, teach forgiveness, extend grace and demonstrate how not to judge others. I can lead them in showing mercy. Who are they going to KNOW they can call? Their mother. I'll answer, no matter how tough, stressful, embarrassing or difficult the question.
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