Thoughts on a Crappy Day

Yesterday was pretty horrible. At least the first two-thirds of it. The first third was the roughest. So much so, that I didn't even consider sitting down at my computer and blogging. And while I'd prefer to paint a rose-y/sunshine-y portrait of a flawless-perfect-utopian life with my four children, that simply isn't the case. Yesterday....mostly....sucked.

There wasn't much to say for the morning. Had I chosen to blog, I would have had to type the entire thing with the caps-lock "ON" to represent the volume of my shouting. There were no wonderful, fuzzy, cuddly moments before lunch. There were no profound insights or lovely exchanges or precious moments to share. It was a loud, cranky, tattling, complaining, whiney kind of morning. And the kids were in bad moods too.  ;)

I don't even know what set it off the wrong way. My plan was to introduce crocheting to the girls, as I noted in Monday's post. I was really looking forward to the experience. Apparently, I didn't think things through...fully. Teaching a skill-based craft is time-consuming (but more important to note, it is patience-consuming). Teaching one child such-a-skill, takes lots of communication, and practice and explaining, and demonstrating. Teaching 9 year-old twins doesn't simply double that work, it multiplies it 10-fold. Throw in an 11 year-old who wants to be superior to her little sisters in all skill areas...and World World III erupts...in my living room. At the end of our "Learn a Wonderful Craft with Mommy" session, one girl had left the battlefield fed up with herself, another was screaming at the rest of us that we were all "so mean," while the remaining daughter was humming Justin Beiber's "Boyfriend" for the 28th time while cutting her yarn into two-inch pieces and scattering them all over my living room floor (she tends to be a little passive-aggressive). Me? I was on the verge of stabbing myself in the eyes with the crochet needles just so I could get a ride to the hospital in an ambulance and get a little break from the chaos.

Maybe it wasn't that bad. But it certainly felt that bad, while we were in the middle of it. Lunch wasn't much better. No one was pleasant. No one wanted to help. No one was grateful. No one was at their best. Or even their mediocrest (yes, I just made up a word). It was just a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. One child in particular (I will protect their identity), was just miserable. Miserable in the way that he (or was it a she?), wanted to make everyone else miserable. That kind of miserable. There were no screens or TV for anyone. There was no fun or creative lunch. I sent everyone to their rooms for an extended Room Time. And I sent myself to my room as well.

Then it hit me. I remembered something I used to do a while ago (it really has been a while....Tucker said it has been almost three years since the last time I did this. The twins' don't remember me ever doing it before). I remembered how to call a "Do-Over." (I've written about this on my Dance Party Blog as well...look for the link if you're interested).

I called a "Do-Over Day" for the household. After an hour-or-so in their rooms, I called a family meeting. Everyone met in the living room (which my daughters had managed to get back in order after the yarn fiasco from the morning). I announced that everyone (including me), would be headed back to their rooms after our meeting, and we would all get back into our pajamas, and crawl back into bed. I would set my alarm for 15 minutes, then I would be "waking up" each child as though it was a brand new day--and this day, which we had already started (and nearly destroyed with rotten actions and attitudes) would be a thing of the past....or better yet----non-existent. We would each get the chance to "Do Over" this day. All the yuck, yelling and yes, even consequences and restrictions, were lifted. Erased. The day would vanish, and we would start again.

It worked. Everyone played along. I took the 15 minutes in my room, to get on my pjs, breathe and be grateful. Grateful to get a clean start in the middle of the day. Grateful to be able to give a clean start. Grateful to be able to redeem a day, which might have been lost entirely. Grateful to be able to change direction with a simple decision. Grateful to have another chance. Grateful to demonstrate grace to my children in a real-life, remember-it-forever experience.

When my timer went off, I visited each room. I "woke" the kids with the sweet, tender 'Rise and Shine' voice they knew when they were pre-schoolers. I pulled back their covers, sat on the beds, and leaned in for a big hug. I told them to get ready for breakfast. We had small bowls of cereal, brushed our teeth, got dressed and painted birdhouses. Later, the kids played Uno and Poker. They even did two loads of laundry. The rest of the day was good. Short, and good. And I couldn't wait to blog about it today.

Mom Thought: I wish I got more Do-Over Days. I am thankful that bad days, failures and 'blowing it' times as a mom, don't wipe out the good days. I am thankful that I get Do-Overs on a consistent basis, from my God. I am thankful for forgiveness, and His very short memory with me. I am thankful for mercy and grace. I want to practice more of that...with my children...and myself.