When I Was Your Age...

My daughters have asked me to teach them how to sew.

The problem is, I don't know how to sew. Yes, I took Home Economics in the 8th grade and made (or almost finished) a trendy little blouse, and I've stitched together a shabby pair of curtains or two. And I can darn a hole in a sock or fix a stuffed teddy bear's paw...and I do own a sewing machine...but there is nothing I can really teach them about real-life-making-something-amazing-sewn-projects. I can't teach something I don't know.

So (no pun intended), I figure, I can do one of four things: I can ignore their request (Just tell them 'Nope. Not going to happen. Sorry."). Or, I can get someone else to teach them to sew (I know people I could ask, talented family members, a local shop around the corner that gives lessons for a reasonable price). Or I can teach myself how to sew, and pass what I learn, on to them. (I do this ALL THE TIME, when I research something on the internet to find out more about things that interest them, books they want to read, movies I'm not certain about that they want to watch...I am a constant researcher. I like to learn. I like to be up-to-date and in-the-know about the things that matter to my kids). Or, I can find an alternative.

I am going with number 4: Finding an Alternative. Any of the other ideas would have been acceptable. At different times, I might have gone with any of the other three. But this summer, for this request, a different option popped into my head....I was thinking about their request to learn how to sew, and I started thinking about them. I started thinking about what they really wanted. I don't know that they wanted to be able to make their own clothes, or decorate their rooms, or develop a life-long skill. I think they really wanted to be able to use the sewing machine that's collecting dust in the garage. I think they want to be able to make projects. To make stuff...with their own hands. And, knowing the ages and stages of my girls (9, 9 and almost 12), I know they want to make stuff within a short amount of time. They are not long-project kinds of kids (yet). They like to work on stuff for a little while, but they want results. They want to be able to start and finish a project in a reasonable amount of time for their attention spans. They want to put out some effort, but not have to wait a long period of time before they see results.

And it hit me. There were a few sewing-type projects I could teach them. From my own childhood. From 'back in the day,' when I was their age. Things I liked to do. Things I spent my summers and New York winters doing...making...creating. I snuck out to the craft store. I spent $18.

Here is what I got:
4 crocheting needles
4 skeins of fun-colored yummy (cheap) yarn
Kid's Crocheting idea book (used a 50% off coupon)

I will be teaching them how to crochet this week. When I was their age, I spent eons of time making scarves for my Barbie, blankets for my dolls (ok, more like 1/2 blankets, not big enough to really wrap around my baby dolls) and googly-eyed crocheted bookmark-worms with pom-pom tails, for my Nancy Drew books. I know they would LOVE to do the same--and make bracelets and necklaces for friends. The book I picked up, had other cute (updated since the 80s), simple ideas. Short projects they can complete in a few hours. I know they can do this! And I know I can teach them. I know because I took some time this weekend to remind myself how to crochet. It had been 30 years since I had held a crochet needle....but it all came back to me...including memories from my childhood. Moments I recalled as a young girl, of fun times with my mother and my friends. The spurts of time I spend this weekend refreshing my memories of granny-squaring and double-crocheting and chain-stitching, fed my heart. I had the best time! And can't wait to teach my girls.

I can't wait to teach my girls about my childhood. About the way I spent my time when I was their age. I can't wait to impart to them a sense of pride in something they can use their hands to make. A little skill they can use to make gifts for others. An interest in developing a hobby. A quiet activity they can enjoy while they think and talk. I can't wait to see which of my three, really takes to it and goes further with it than the others. Here is what I predict (because I know my girls): Tatum will want to make a scarf for her very best friend in the world. She will learn the stitches and start saving her money to buy the PERFECT color and texture yarn for her BFF. And she WILL make her friend a beautiful present. Paige will make about 4 chain necklaces (each taking about 10 minutes to complete). Then she'll realize bracelets take even less time to make, and she'll make about 30 bracelets. Then she'll want to make a blanket for one of her American Girl dolls, which will end up being more of a 3-inch square napkin for her doll. She will give all of her creations away, and give the doll-sized napkin to me, after she has wrapped it in an entire roll of wrapping paper and used all the tape we have in the house. Haily, will start making bookmarks, hair scrunchies and simple bracelets to sell to her friends and family members...and me. She will develop a business plan for how her crafts will fund her college education, or at the least, help her buy another hamster.

I have decided to teach Tucker how to solve the Rubix Cube. Whether he wants to learn or not. This will take some time and effort, but I will do it. WE will do it, together. Then we will race each other. I'll show him how to make all the fun patterns and designs I learned as a kid. He will be impressed. He will think it's cool. He will think I'm cool. I need to practice ALL of next weekend and see if I can find the cheating "How-to" book I used to have a a girl...

Mom thought: While we crochet (or work on the Rubix Cube), we will talk. I will share with them about ME. I will open up to them a little more about me, at their ages. I will tell them more about who I was then, what I remember about my feelings and my fears. I will tell them about problems I had with the friends, my issues in school and things I did that I got in trouble for when I was 9 , 11 and 13. This will be a time for them to get to know me better...and a time for me to listen to them, answer their questions and get to know them better. They will remember this. They may even take on a "Crocheting Day" with their daughters, or share a pop-culture experience with their sons. They will remember me giving them this. And they will know how to pass on themselves to their children, their families, their friends when they are grown-ups.