It's a DATE!

I'm pretty sure THURSDAYS are going to end up being the "Most Looked-Forward-To" day of Summer 2012 (based on the success of this afternoon)! Thursdays are "Dates With Mom Day." I've done this with the children in the past (once for Mother's Day and once at the end of Spring Break last year). THE KIDS LOVE IT and know the routine.

Being one of four children (with only four years between the oldest and the youngest (including a set of twins), times alone with Mom, are a little rare--and therefore, are very valuable and cherished (on both sides). I love having a big brood. I love the energy of a large family. I love the communication, the fun, the excitement of a lot of kids in the house. I can handle noise and chaos....in small to medium dosages. I love a family dinner around the table with real conversation. I love playing games with lots of kids. It seems to multiply the fun. But, I treasure one-on-one time. It is my favorite. And it is the favorite of my kids.

So, on Wednesday night, I am asking each child how they want to spend an hour with ME on Thursdays! They can pick a place to visit, thing to do or way to spend one hour with me....just the two of us. I listen to their ideas and figure out a schedule so each child gets their time and their activity with NO interruptions from the other three. Here's what they picked for this week:

Tatum asked me to cut her hair and style it for her. (I've been cutting all four kids' hair since they were babies. Tucker has only had two haircuts NOT by me, in his 13 years.) She also asked me to show her what kind of makeup she will be allowed to wear in middle school. And that's what we did. Hair trimmed on the patio. Nice blow-out in my bathroom. Subtle pre-teen lipgloss, sheer blush and sand colored eye-shadow. Very pretty. Lots of good conversation about boys, changing classes, dress code and slumber parties. We also discussed the book she just finished reading, "Prom and Prejudice." She had no idea it was based on one of MY favorite novels, and was surprised when I could guess the story-line (and that the boy/crush in the book's last name was Darcy). Cost $0.

Paige asked me to take her to the park for her hour. She wanted to go on the swings with me and wanted me to help her on the monkey bars (a skill she is determined to master this year). She also wanted us to paint watercolor portraits and landscapes while we were there. I packed paints, a little container with water and white paper. It was a soothing hour for us. We sat and talked...and listened to the little children screaming all around us. Paige felt very grown-up sitting with me, "focusing" on our art. I enjoyed myself more than expected. I think getting creative, relaxed my soul. Cost $0 (I already had the materials at home. I bet it cost about $4 at Target).

Tucker wanted to play video games with me. Right. Seriously. Like I'm going to like that AT ALL...but, keeping with my promise to do a date HIS way, I told him we could rent one at a local place and play for an hour. When we got to the store, it was tough deciding on one I approved of, that he agreed with. My picks were too lame, his were too aggressive. After standing in the store for about 20 minutes, I asked if he'd rather have lunch with me at the restaurant of his choice. THIS idea, he loved. (I invested $22 in this date.)

We ate at one of his favorite places. Half-way through the meal, he asked me the following question, "Mom, when you were my age, did you tell your parents everything you did? Were there things you didn't tell them?" I answered him honestly, and told him about some secrets I'd kept from them, and the reasons why I'd felt like I couldn't (or didn't want to) tell them. He looked at me and said, "Because there are some things I need to tell you." I looked at him across the table and saw that he had tears in his eyes. I told him to put on his sunglasses and tell me whatever he wanted to--I'd listen, no matter what. 30 minutes later, after a fantastic conversation/confessional, I had tears in MY eyes.....I was so proud of him. So proud of US. So proud of the relationship he and I have. So proud that he trusted me, and trusted the strength of our relationship to be able to handle him opening up his heart about something that was so troubling for his 13-year old conscience.

And as I sat there, listening to him, I knew the entire reason for this day, that hour, was for that very conversation between the two of us. I knew God had put the whole 'Dates with Mom Day' together today, for Tucker and me. I know the other children loved it too. I know they got something out of the day...but I know for certain, Tucker needed it. For his future, his growing up, he needed that conversation. And God created the moment. A moment that could have been lost to a video game. Or passed-over because I was too busy to listen and care and love and understand.

Haily wanted to go window shopping and try on high heel shoes with me. I must point out here, that Haily is my least prissy daughter. She is the one with bruises and scrapes from tumbles and falls, all over her legs. She is the one with short hair. She is the no-fuss type who likes to play hard. She is my competitor. She is not a girly-girl. But today, with me....she wanted to try on heels. And pick out shoes for me. And it was so much fun. We must have tried on 30 pair of shoes. I sat in one spot, and she brought by boxes for the both of us. It was more fun than I had imagined. We talked a lot about her uniqueness, and how she strives to be her own person. And how much I admire her for it. (Cost of date: $0...plus gas money.)

That's Haily's foot on the left (size 7), mine on the right...

I am tired. The day flew by. We had a great time. The kids started planning next-weeks dates during the last five minutes of the their time with me today. But, as I informed them, NEXT week will be different--next week I will be the one picking the dates. It will be my turn to introduce them to something I love to do. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I will pick a very specific thing to share with each child, based on what I know about them and what we have in common. I'll keep you posted.

Oh, by the way, I'm blogging during my one-hour date with myself. The kids know I take time just for me--and I can't be interrupted during this hour. I'm passing on my belief in making myself a priority, so they'll take time for themselves--when they're grown ups.

Mom Thought: Just re-read the part about Tucker's date. It's all in there.